Caryl: A little bit of this and that
by serpetinefire
Summary: This is going to be a series of one shots done as prompt fills. Ratings will range from k-m and Categories will range as well. These are ALL Caryl stories. I will try to include any trigger warnings as needed.
1. when the world fell down

**When the world falls down, I'll hold you up.**

 **Set during the time jump between season 2 and 3, this is a little snap shot on how the relationship between Carol and Daryl changed.**

Done for the missing moments challenge on NL and dedicated with much love to the girls of the Carolution.

It was so subtle, the changes in them.

Both so broken by the weight of the world.

Before…

Too many losses stacked up.

Too much pain.

YET….

There was something there, you just had to look.

Maybe it was the way she held her head a little higher.

Maybe it was the way he lost that false bravado.

Watching them drift closer on cold nights, for warmth he said.

Sure she replied, a hint of a smile just at the edge of her lips.

He wasn't one for touching,

She wasn't used to gentleness,

Yet here they were...

His hand reaching out to help her over a log or through a thicket.

Her soft sweet "thank you" his reward.

His hand lingering on her back, her shoulder

As she balanced the rifle.

His breath warming her as it blew across her neck.

He wasn't one for giving praise,

She wasn't used to receiving it

Yet there they were…

His encouraging words building her confidence

Her unwavering faith in him, building his.

He wasn't used to someone caring for him, not for who he was instead of what he could do

She wasn't used to having someone appreciate her, other than Sophia.

Yet here they were…

The shy dip of his head, hiding the gratitude he felt.

When she brought him food, washed and patched his clothes, sat watch with him.

He wasn't used to playful teasing, the kind that didn't hurt.

She wasn't used to teasing someone,

Yet here they were…

His "stawp" hiding the joy he found in her words.

Her musical giggle at his.

He wasn't used to talking this much.

She wasn't used to someone listening.

Yet here they were…

Sharing the good and the bad

He tells her about his life before.

She tells him.

Shared pain taking the sting of the memories,

He tells her about his brother,

She tells him about Sophia.

Cherished images traded, keeping both alive

In spirt.

He wasn't used to feeling loved, like he mattered

She wasn't used to feeling loved, like she mattered

Not until the world fell down.

They were used to being alone, having no one at their back.

Yet here they were….

When the world fell down, they held each other up.


	2. the Name Game

_Who's fucking idea was this anyway? Right, fucking Glenn and his fucking mouth._

" _I know what we can do…" asshole never could hold his liquor._

 _Bonding and shit over something he hadn't done since he was what? 8, 9?_

" _Come on guys, it'll be great for Caaarrrl." How did he let them talk him into this shit?_

Each of the guys picked a spot on the blacktop, far enough away from each other to offer privacy but close enough to make sure no one cheated.

"Hey Abe, you have to write your full fucking name." Daryl hollered at the big ginger fucker.

'Gonna need more ammo then," Abraham answered with a slurred laugh as he brought the bottle to his lips.

He heard Carl and Rick joking off to his side,

Eugene muttering about the unfairness of it all and who was judging,

Glenn was singing some fucking pee pee song,

And here he was, standing with his dick in his hands, still trying to figure out how the fuck Glenn got him into this mess.

Jesus, he hoped the women stayed far from here.

All down, washing their panties or some shit.

He thought he heard Michonne and Carol say something about "washing up".

 _Oh fuck no! Don't think about her while you're standing here with your dick in your hand…_

 _Don't think about her stripping down,_

 _The chill in the air making her skin break out in goosebumps,_

 _The way her freckles would all be on display,_

 _The way her nipples would pucker, begging him to …._

 _SHIT! Not now…_

He glanced around quickly, hoping no one would notice the trouble he was having.

 _Eugene's naked ass, Eugene's naked ass…_

 _There boner gone, disaster averted._

"Hey Daryl, you almost ready? We need to get to the judging round before the girls get back."

 _Carl fucking "I don't stay in the house" Grimes…_

 _Little shit._

One shake, two and he tucks himself back in his pants.

Carl looked around the group of men, "So how do we judge this?"

Glenn, the authority on this little game answered, "Winner is based on creativity, best writing skill, and readability."

"Who's first?'

Abe piped up, "I'll go first to show you how it's done boy."

The group of men walked over to where able was standing.

"Umm dude, you misspelled your name and why does it look like someone shot it with buck shot?" Glenn, either brave or stupid but mostly drunk asked.

"Can we go next?" Carl sounded more like a kid than he had in a long time and was practically bouncing to show off his "art".

The men migrated over to where Carl and Rick had been to judge the competition.

"Carl how the hell did you get the bubble effect? And Rick, why is it done in print style? "

"Hey, isn't Rick's real name Richard? So why did I have to do Abraham and he only had to do Rick?"

Trying to distract Abraham, Rick said "Moving on, Eugene or Glenn next?"

"Do me… Do me next!"

"Eugene, no one wants to do you. World ended dude but that fact didn't change."

 _Damn, Abe has a mean ass mouth when he's been drinking!"_

"Let's do Glenn first, he's closest. Wake the fuck up Glenn!"

 _Maggie was gonna have their balls for earrings when she got back and saw her husband passed out in the middle of the road._

"Hey Daryl, Glenn's actually looks pretty good and look he added a heart with an "M" in it at the end."

Daryl just shook his head.

 _Glenn is so fucking whipped._

Ok, let's check Eugene's and get sleeping beauty's ass up."

The guys stood transfixed at the beauty of Eugene's writing.

The loops and swirls,

The large lettering,

"Holy shit! Is that calligraphy?"

"We'll if you handled the 'writing" tool as much as I do, you get a certain skill."

 _Damn, I'm fucking impressed._

"How about we call Eugene the obvious winner and get the hell back."

"What about yours Daryl?" Carl wanted to be fair.

"Naw, it's good. Nothing gonna beat that shit of Eugene's."

Daryl turned and headed over to where Glenn was drooling into the black top.

"Hey Daryl?"

"What kid?"

"Umm, I thought Daryl was spelled D. A. R.Y. L."

"It is." He answered as he bent to pick up the smaller man.

"Then why did you spell it C.A.R.Y.L?"

 _FUCK!_

 **I don't own twd.. I just like to play with the characters.**

 **Dedicated for The Readers Muse… she knows why.**

 **Thank you Susan for the title.**


	3. One last time

**One last time**

 **This was a prompt fill that was supposed to be smutty... but...**

 **This isn't really smutty, (why can't I write them F'ing? LOL)**

 **This one is for her and for thereader'smuse, SophiaCharlote, Halohunter, Hiatus, My girls of FFA and as always my Carol loving sisters of Carolution.**

They had learned a long time ago, to treat each moment as if it was their last.

No more denying,

No more waiting,

No more….

If they were gonna go, then the last memory they wanted was of each other.

He held the memories of the way her eyes saw past all his bull shit, finding the real him.

The way her lips turned up when she smiled.

The way her skin felt under his fingertips, each freckle an old friend.

The way she blushed, when he told her all the things he wanted to do to her.

His tongue running along the shell of her ear, down her neck.

 _She had teased him about his oral fixation for years, but when you had a feast like her, you never passed up an opportunity._

She held the memories of the sound of his voice, the way it would get softer…

Only for her.

His whispers in the dark,

Telling her she was beautiful,

Perfect,

His..

The way he nibbled his way down her stomach, to her "honey pot".

He devoured her, all lips, teeth and tongue.

Ripping the orgasm from her with his mouth and a single finger.

Over and over and….

The sounds of his moans as she took him deep, throat stretched wide.

 _He was always so gentle, desperate to thrust,_

 _Fighting it._

She loved the feel of his thighs tightening, his fingers tangled in her hair.

No vision was better than his head thrown back, his eyes wild

The way he called her name,

Screamed it,

Finally giving in, driving deep as he came.

They held the memories of quiet nights, tangled together,

Bodies cooling, hands trembling as they danced over well-loved forms.

The echoes of their passion, ringing in their ears as they drifted off to sleep.

The way a look, a brush of fingers, a word was all they needed to feel the ache for the other,

To pull a memory,

Each coming together, a treasure,

A reminder

To live in the moment one last time.

 **I still don't own anything… damn it!**


	4. two more days

This was a prompt from the lovely The Reader's muse.

"Call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can't sleep without me."

Top of Form

Two more days, still a fucking eternity

He hated these long stretches, sure they paid good money but still…

She was waiting for him, always waiting.

He glanced up, blurry eyed and weary, saw the picture of her on the visor

Her soft smile as she caressed the slight bump on her belly…

His, their son.

Growing strong on the love they had both missed until they found each other.

A few more trips and they would have all they needed for that little house.

Blue shutters, porch swing, and a backyard big enough for the army children they wanted.

His eyes grew heavy, slightly dazed as he lost himself in the day dreams of the life they were creating.

Lost in the dreams of her soft breath blowing across his chest as she curled up with him at night,

The way her smile chased away the darkness,

The sound of her off key singing, all the more beautiful for the way her face lights up on each warbled note.

The shake and rattle of the truck as it hit the side strips snapped him from his memories, forcing him back to reality.

Shaking himself, he pulls over..

Not gonna make it home if he wrecks.

Taking a breath, he reaches for his phone, knowing she will answer.

God he missed her.

She picks up on the second ring

" _Hello love, I was waiting for you."_

" _Still can't sleep?"_

" _Never could, not without you here"_

" _Two more days and I'll be there. "_

" _I miss you."_

" _Miss you too."_

They chatted about nonsensical things for a bit till he started to drift off, her voice a balm to his weary soul.

The last thing he heard before he gave in to the allure of the dreams of her was her voice as she sang him to sleep.

Two more days, an eternity


	5. Right Here

**Right here**

 **Obligatory New Year's Eve fic for the lovely ladies of the Carolution, HaloHunter and Hiatus**

He loved this time of year,

The sting of the cold as it nipped at her cheeks, making them rosy

The slight bite of the wind, driving her closer to him

The darkness split by the stars, lighting their way down the well-worn path.

He couldn't stop his eyes from straying to her.

Who knew that freckled face girl he met 30 years ago, wild haired and gap toothed, would be the one thing he couldn't live without.

After all these years she was still the most beautiful girl in the world, at least to him she was.

The crackle of the fire in the distance a counterpoint to the crunch of the snow under their feet

He pulled her closer as she started to slip, her giggle filling him as she burrowed into his side.

They reached the crest of the hill, their special spot.

Treasured memories of all the firsts they had shared here,

 _First hugs_

 _First kisses_

 _The first time she told him she loved him_

 _The first time they…._

 _The first time she told him their family was growing._

He could see the reflection of those cherished memories in her eyes,

In the smile that danced across her lips.

He wraps his arms around her, his lips a hairs breath away from hers

Waiting…

As the sky exploded with color and sound, he closes that gap between them.

Sighs contently as their lips meet,

After all this time, there was no place he'd rather be than right here.

 **I don't own anything other than the copious amounts of merchandise I've bought over the years.**


	6. touch

**Touch**

She marveled at the difference in touch.

The brush of support and friendship along an arm, across the back.

The feeling of holding a child close, their sweet scent surrounding her.

The pleasure of finding friends, Lori, Andrea both so quick to reach out.

The joy of reuniting, Tyreese's shaking limbs pulling her to broad chest.

The feel of Rick's hand on her neck, the back of her head.

The touch of family, of brothers she had never had.

All touches she had missed for far too long, but there were other touches

Touches only meant for them.

The differences in those touches from what she knew before were the biggest surprise.

Ed's hands had been "soft" more white collar than blue.

Unlined, no callouses, no scars, they weren't the hands of a working man.

For such soft hands, there was no gentleness.

Grasping, biting things that only knew how to hurt, humiliate, take.

His touches though were different.

Calloused hands that knew hard work

Long fingered and dirty

Strong but caring as they danced across her skin.

Seeking all those places to make her skin flush and her heart sing.

His hands were just like him,

Rough and dangerous but sweet and tender.

Patient, understanding and protective.

More than the way he made her feel passion,

She loved the way he held her to him as they slept.


	7. New Arrivals

**New Arrivals.**

 **This was a prompt fill from tumblr. What if Carol, Ty and Jude hadn't met up with the others outside of terminus but instead caught up with the others at ASZ. What would the ASZ folks think when they first saw Daryl and Carol together. Here's my take.**

Everyone blended in fairly well to their new life, almost everyone that is.

The Alexandrians learned to appreciate the new arrivals, all seasoned warriors, all with skills to share.

They also loved gossip.

They knew the new girl that was helping Deanna had a sister lost somewhere out there,

They knew Sasha had a brother missing as well, but she seemed happy with her husband Bob.

The Grimes family, Rick, Michonne and Carl all seemed to shy away from the younger children, there was a story there.

There was one though that made them, well honestly he made them uncomfortable.

Daryl, they heard was his name, he was the one that intrigued them the most.

He ignored any attempt by the town's people to get to know him, much to the disappointment of more than one female resident (not to mention a couple of the male residents)

He wouldn't talk to anyone outside his group and the Alexandrians were pretty sure he didn't know how to smile.

He was dirty, smelly and rude.

Hell, rumor was he showed up to his interview with a dead animal in hand.

Of all the new arrivals they wanted to know his secrets, everything about him.

He was the best thing since they lost tv…

Aaron and Eric radioed ahead, they had found someone new.

A man, woman and believe it or not a baby! Something rarely seen from the outside.

Word spread quickly through the town as they waited for the new arrivals to get there.

They wondered what kind of gossip the new arrivals would bring.

What kind of stories, who would be the first to find out _their_ secrets.

A name was passed around, something like a song… Melody? Carol? something like that.

Word spread quickly and the Alexandrians were surprised to see who turned out to greet the new arrivals.

The group they had come to admire were all there, most surprisingly Daryl was there.

He stood in front of the gate, barely contained ball of energy, snapping at anyone who dared to jostle him from his potion at the front of the group.

Anticipation built as they waited what felt like hours but was only minutes.

The anticipating built, as did the questions.

Why were the new comers here?

Why did this particular group seem to fire them up?

They watched Daryl pace back and forth, saw his lips move but couldn't hear him.

This really was better than TV, nothing on the old network could compare to this…

Must see TV indeed.

The gates slowly opened,

Creaking metal the only sound as a hush descended upon them.

Something was coming, something that would change their narrow world.

Figures appeared at the gate,

The familiar sight of Aaron and Eric were the first seen, always together,

Next came a large man wearing of all things a baby carrier.

It was the person that brought up the rear that intrigued them the most.

Small and grey haired but with an air of power that washed over them.

There was a sense of danger in her eyes,

A "don't even try to fuck with me" attitude about her.

The hush grew oppressive as they waited to hear the first words spoken, surprised they came from a place they never expected.

Daryl's call of a name,

His run,

The way he enveloped the new woman in his arms,

Surreal, but everything they remembered from those old hallmark channel shows,

Seeing the man of mystery , the stuff of fantasy

Face tear streaked and filled with love

Moved them in a way they hadn't expected.

Watching the woman's face crumble from one of weary acceptance to pure joy,

There was a story to there, one to top all the stories they had heard since the end of the world,

If only they were brave enough to ask….

 **I do not own anything to do with AMC, the walking dead… well except for a shit ton of crap that I have bought.**


	8. Without her

**Without her.**

 **For Halohunter, EnglishPoet, Esmeedarling, Sanja, The readers Muse, Fairies masquerade, and the girls of the Carolution.**

 **Special thanks to EnglishPoet for the assistance in cleaning this up, and Halohunter for the encouragement. If you love it, thank them. If you hate it, well that is probably my fault. Brightest blessings.**

 **Still don't own anything.. wish I did.**

 _My fault, all of it._

All he could do was watch, wait.

He felt each spasm of her body as she clung to his hand.

"Daryl…" she said, her breath labored.

"Shush, I'm here baby." He answered, tears in his eyes.

Pissed at himself for being so careless, lost in his own selfish wants at the time.

 _My Fault, fucking my fault she's like this now._

She was losing strength, growing weaker.

He ran his fingers through her sweat encrusted hair.

She hadn't wanted him there for the end, wanting to spare him.

He knew it was almost time...

 _Too soon_

Little flashes of their life together flipped behind his eyes.

 **The first time they met** ,

 _Her red hair whipping behind her, the freckles dancing across her face._

 _His six year old heart stolen, bought with a juice box, a cookie and her smile._

 **Their first hug**.

 _They had been 10 years old awkward and sweet. It was the first time he learned hands could hold you close without hurting._

 **The first time they kissed** ,

 _Lips pressed together, fleeting but perfect. Two 13 year olds feeling the blush of love burning though them._

 **Their first real kiss.**

 _Sweet 16 her soft sigh filling him. He had known then he never wanted to kiss another._

 **Their first fight.**

 _Something stupid, her tear streaked eyes as the nasty words fell from his lips._

 _Her forgiveness when he finally pulled his head out of his ass._

 **The first time she told him she loved him**.

 _She whispered it in his ear, thinking he was asleep._

 **Their first time**.

 _Both nervous, neither knowing what they were doing._

 _Over much to quick, stunned silence as they caught their breath. Fingers entwined smiles on their face._

"Mr. Dixon, Daryl… we need to move her." The voice cutting into his compilation, chasing those treasured memories away.

"No."

 _No! too soon, too soon, please God not yet!_

"Daryl…"

He turned his eyes back to her, her face blurred by his tears.

He clung to her, his head dropping to her shoulder.

"Carol, I love…" his voice broke seeing how much pain she was in.

Her fingers slipped across his cheek, brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"I know. I love you too." She sounded so small, tiny.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I'm so fucking sorry."

She smiled through the pain, "I'm not."

The sounds of shuffling feet behind him, told him it was time.

He gave her one last desperate kiss, pouring every bit of his strength into her, every bit of his love.

He looked at the doctor, his heart breaking.

" _PLEASE_."

The kindly Doctor squeezed his arm as they passed him, "We'll get you when it's all done. "

He waited, seconds, minutes, hours… waited for something…

The nurse that had been with them earlier came running into the room, her eyes meeting his.

He crashed to his knees as a wailing cry echoed throughout the floor.

He was afraid to away. He couldn't not look up at the nurse.

"Mr. Dixon... Daryl. You can go in now" the nurse told him.

As he walked down the hall, feet dragging,

Memories flipping faster and faster

Her smile, her eyes

The warmth of her skin against his,

Her voice whispering that she loved him, that everything would be all right.

He felt the sobs build in his chest as he got closer to her room.

 _He couldn't do this, not without her_

His hand stretched to the door as the doctor and nurses left.

Someone squeezing his shoulder as they passed him.

Senseless words washed over him, all unheard as his eyes locked on her lying in the bed, sheet pulled up tight.

His heart sped up as he made his way to her, pulling her close as his tears ran down his face,

She had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment.

"What did you decide?" she asked smiling as she pulled back the blanket to show him.

"David" he said as she placed the sleeping bundle in his arms, his heart exploding in joy. "Our son's name is David."


	9. Magic Fingers

**Magic fingers**

 **For Edith**

"Oh GOD, Daryl! Right there!"

"This spot? You like that?"

Her little hums and moans of approval fired his blood, sending it zinging through him.

Each one on repeat, savored as a treasured gift.

His fingers began to cramp, but he would not stop.

Not till she begged him to.

He wanted to possess her, mind, body and spirit.

He had always been good with his hands, this was the first time he actually felt like he was creating something.

A symphony of beautiful sounds on the world's most perfect instrument.

His fingers moved a bit faster, deeper, putting the pressure "right there" ,

His efforts were rewarded with a moan that welled up from her toes.

He felt that sense of pride he always got when she was like this,

Her body wiggling across the bed, beads of sweat trickling down her face, her neck, resting in that hollow at the base of her throat.

She was panting now, calling his name as he moved his fingers to the bundle of nerves that were the source of her pain.

 _Almost there, that's my girl, let it go…_

Her body tensed , released with a contented sigh.

Her lazy smile, hooded eyes, relaxed demeanor everything he was striving for.

"You know, you have got magic hands?"

"If you think I'm good with feet, you should see what else I can do with these hands."

Her eyebrows raised, she gave him that mischievous smile she saved for him, "Can't wait"

 **I don't own anything… just saying.**


	10. Dawns Mourning light

**Dawns mourning light:**

 **For someone special, you know who you are.**

 **Warning Character death.**

He had made this trek before, years ago.

She had always loved the dawn, the waking of a new day.

They had started the ritual after the farm, just the two of them.

As the first rays chased the darkness away, they would meet.

The hush in the air was a comfort for them both, something only they shared.

A moment of peace, a time for them to bask in the others presence before the world awoke and pulled them apart.

Sometimes they would talk,

About nonsensical things, sometimes deeper.

Occasionally the brush of a hand or fingers against the skin,

Eventually those fumbling's turned passionate, her name on his lips as he worshiped her the way she deserved.

Duties to be filled, his and hers keeping them separate until the shadow of night blanketed their world.

They could hide in the dark, from the others from themselves, but never from the other.

She loved the first blush of the dawn, all their secrets exposed to the only one they were willing to share them with.

10 years now, they had met at the dawn, silent keeper of their secrets.

Another dawn, another grave, another flower to mark his sorrow.

It seemed only fitting the dawn would be the only one to witness to his mourning.

Until he could join with her again.

 **Still don't own anything related to the actual production of the walking dead, not the characters, not the show… hell I barely own the right to do fics.**


	11. Dreams of a Kiss

**Dreams of a kiss**

 **This was originally done to fill a "first Kiss" fic challenge for Ninelives**

 **Dedicated to the ladies of the Carolution …Thank you for everything.**

 **Also a huge THANK you for my lovely Readers Muse for looking it over for me. You are a treasure!**

 **BTW I don't own twd or the characters …**

He'd be a liar if he said he never wondered what it would be like.

Passionate and angry like he was in the beginning?

Biting and devouring her, he's glad it didn't happen then… sometimes.

Maybe it would be sad? Lips barely brushing before she turned away.

Grief stricken, the salt of her tears flavoring her lips

Too much grief for them to hold in.

The ghosts of names hanging in the air, demanding their attention while reminding them of their failures?

Maybe it would be playful and teasing, like she was at the prison?

Bumping noses as they tried to fit, her giggle washing over him and filling him with lightness.

He missed those days, he missed her.

Joyful?

Him pulling her close like they showed in those crappy chick flick movies he'd sometimes catch Merle watching… usually when he was high.

His heart soaring at the sight of her, dirty and scared but never more beautiful, knowing that despite everything she had come back to him, saved his ass once more.

He would have done it then, people be damned, if Rick hadn't fucked it up for him.

Maybe it would have a plea and a promise?

He almost did it when they were in Atlanta, hoovering centimeters above her sleeping form.

 _Don't leave me,_

 _I love you,_

 _Please please don't hide,_

 _Come back to me._

 _I can't do this without you, I won't._

His lips desperate to show her everything he held locked inside, begging her to understand, hungry for her touch. Praying she wouldn't fade away once more.

He lost her then. Thought he had missed his chance.

Regret eating away at his soul.

Maybe it would be tinged with bitterness, hard and unyielding.

Lips pressed together, an angry slash of the mouth, a cooper sweetness as he split her lip.

Lacking passion,

Lacking love.

Watching her fool the Alexandria people scared him. It wasn't her, not his Carol.

Not understanding how he had let things get to this point,

Fucking stupid to think she would come to him when she was ready.

She would never be ready, always giving up everything for them, for him.

Maybe it would be laced with fear and worry.

Pulling her to him when he saw the first cracks in that shell of hers.

Finally saying what he knew all along.

She wasn't ok.

She came to him after,

 _She was trying._

Shared a smoke, talked to him in a way she hadn't since they got here.

He missed the signs … always late. The sadness he sensed wrapped around her like a cloak, pushing his Carol further away.

 _But she tried_ …

He could see it now.

If only…

Watching the madman put on his show, keeping his audience captive as he played his game,

He made a promise to himself.

No more waiting,

No more wondering,

No more dreaming the perfect scenario

No more regret.

The next time he held her in his arms, he'd get that kiss…

All he had to do was live through this and see her again.


	12. Envoy

**Envoy**

 **This was a prompt for my lovely Halohunter .**

 **It's in two parts and set before season 7**

She watched him walk away,

His anger, frustration, and fear apparent in each ground eating stride.

Her ears rang with the words he had thrown at her like daggers.

 _You're running away again_

 _You don't care about anything do you_

 _Can't let yourself feel_

 _You were right, you're not who you were_

 _You won't talk to me anymore_

 _I can't…._

How did things get so bad so quickly?

…..

Another group meeting, pointless really, but it made them feel like they had some control.

This world seemed to breed assholes. Convinced of their own predestined greatness, high on the smell of their bull shit.

They were 300 miles from home, weary and damn near broken.

The dead outnumbered the living a thousand to one, yet here they were being threatened by another megalomaniac.

There was a glimmer of hope, if they could just get someone to their allies.

Allies, they had learned the hard way, were few and far between.

The newest was found in an unlikely man with an unlikely name.

Paul "calls me Jesus" Monroe offered that glimmer.

If only they could get word to his group.

They talked for hours, circling the same arguments.

Run?

Fight?

Give their newest threat what he wanted?

History repeating itself, like it always has.

She watched as Jesus stood up, cleared his throat and offered that key.

 _If someone can get to hilltop, they would help._

The room was silent for a few seconds before it erupted in a cacophony of sounds.

Questions tossed, accusations too.

Rick , Michonne by his side, asked, practically begged for everyone to quiet.

 _Tell me what you have in mind ._

Jesus walked over, pulled something from his pocket.

 _If someone can get to hilltop, tell them I sent you and tell them what's going on. They'll come._

She could see the wheels turning , the thoughts flitting across Rick's face.

She would bet he had been a shit poker player before. Everything oh so easy to read.

Someone was going and honestly what choice did they have.

 _How will they know it's legit?_

Ah Abraham, the military man, seeing all the angles.

She risked a glance towards Daryl, knowing he would volunteer.

Knowing he couldn't be the one to go.

Abe wasn't the only one that could see the angles.

She saw Jesus, fingers running over _something_.

 _You show them this._ He held up the rosary.

The dark wooden beads, black as night cross, glowed in the low fire light. It was beautiful.

The plan was accepted, not that they had a choice.

Now came the arguments of _who_ would go.

Just as she suspected, Daryl, Michonne, Abraham, Sasha, Glenn, Maggie and Aaron were tripping over each other to take on the mission.

She knew who it should be, who it had to be. _Fuck he was gonna be pissed_.

She rose slowly, quietly as only she could, _it was easy to go unnoticed_.

Silent as the mouse she had once been called by a long lost potential friend.

 _I'll go._

Here it comes, she made it to three before his voice, gruff and rasping drowned out the others.

 _Fuck that! You ain't going!_

She wished they had been able to do this in private, so much for wishes.

 _Daryl, I'm the only one that CAN go!. They've seen you, Abe and Sasha. We need Michonne, Aaron and Glenn here to help Rick plan and to protect this place and Maggie is pregnant!. Who else could we send? Tara? Eugene? Who?_

The others nodded as each point was made, well most of them.

 _There's got to be someone else besides you! Make those pampered fucks pull their weight. Hell, send Morgan._

This was getting ugly fast, but she knew she was right. She stiffened her spine, knew he would be livid.

 _Most of these people wouldn't make it to the tree line and you know it! Morgan?_

At the sound of the man's name, she felt that anger she had carried for the last few weeks bubble to the surface. Ramping it down, she continued.

 _You know why it can't be Morgan. I'm it._ _You trained me, remember? And this won't be the first time I've been out there on my own. I'm the only one._

She sensed more than saw Rick's flinch at the reminder.

Fuck it, if she had to play dirty she would.

 _Last time I was alone, I managed to save all your asses, so don't tell me I can't do this._

His chest was heaving, she knew she won, but he was going to make it a bittersweet win.

 _Fine! Fucking go!_

He turned then, stomped towards the door.

He hesitated just a second before he walked out.

She knew this game all too well.

She quickly tossed a nod to Rick

 _I'll get my gear in a minute; Jesus, I'll meet you by the side gate in 20._

She hurried after her… What the hell was he anyway?

Friend?

Brother?

Companion?

Mate?

Pushing that thought away, she had hurried after him.

Knew the next bit would be worse.

Knew she couldn't leave without at least trying to make him understand.

…..

She had caught up to him and it was as bad as she thought it would be. He was angry. He was scared, he was desperate.

Throwing everything he had at her to get her to stay, to tell him she changed her mind.

He was out of sight now, the echoes silent, finally.

She felt the tears in her throat, behind her eyes but refused to let them fall.

That wasn't who she was, not any more.

She started towards the house they shared, knowing he wouldn't be there, hoping he would be.

She heard footsteps come up behind her, recognizing the gait and the clip clop of Rick's boots.

 _Carol, hold up a minute._

She waited, wondering what he could say, if there even was anything to be said.

 _I talked to Jesus, he says it's best to wait until dark. Give you a few hours? Maybe.._

She held her hand up, stopping him.

One thing she knew about Rick, he was predictable.

 _I'll wait as Jesus suggested._

 _Can I talk to you about something?_ Shane had been right about this too, talk it to death.

 _Rick, there's nothing to say. I'll deal with everything when I get back. You just need to make sure I have a home still standing when I do return._

With that, she turned and finished her lonely trek home.

…

The hours passed quickly , most leaving her alone except for her family.

A hug from Tara and Maggie,

A plea from Glenn to be careful,

Abe slipped her an extra clip he had stashed,

Bits of advice from Aaron,

A whispered promise from Michonne to "keep an eye on your red neck trouble maker".

Daryl hadn't come home, she hadn't expected him to.

She hated leaving when he was like this. As Michonne said "anger makes you stupid, stupid gets you killed".

She hoped Michonne and the others would be able to rein him in, keep him safe.

A final kiss for Carl and Jude before she went to the gate, time to go.

Jesus had caught her outside the house, his rosary safely tucked into her pocket, its warmth seeping into her skin.

When she got to the gate; she saw him.

Standing in the shadows, the glow from the tip of his cigarette a beacon.

He didn't move, just stood there waiting, seeing if she would come to him, if she forgave him.

He should have known she would. She always had.

Moving to his side, she tipped her head back, seeing the stars

Feeling that peace his presence always seemed to give her.

She felt the slightest brush of his fingers against hers, delicate, welcomed.

Fingers sliding together, an affirmation of what they were to each other, he spoke words that had a deeper meaning than their simplicity suggested. She clung to them as their hands drifted apart and she stepped out the gate. The darkness once again her refuge,

 _Stay safe._

 _Nine lives, remember_


	13. Envoy part 2

**Envoy: The Return**

 **Here it is the second chapter to Envoy. For Halohunter**

He held her in his arms, face buried in her neck while he choked back the sob that weld up within.

He had only had this pleasure once before, had hoped he would feel it again.

She looked like hell, bruised and battered, filthy with the biting smell of sweat , death and decay clinging to her.

She had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment.

…

It had been four days since she left,

The ghost of that touch clung to his fingertips still.

He knew the risks, had calculated the amount of time it would take her to get to Hilltop and back,

But…

They were running out of time, they had only been given 10 days to gather what the latest nut job wanted from them.

He tried to focus, really he did.

He couldn't sleep, dreams of her oh so soft skin gripped not in his hands but in a walkers teeth haunted him.

He drifted,

Going from one job to the next, helping get the place secure.

He knew the others watched him, talked about him.

They tried to be sly about it, but they forgot he was observant.

Can't bull shit a bull shitter or at least bull shit a bull shitter's brother.

They had nothing on Merle.. Assholes.

He found himself staking out the back gate she had left through, like some fucking pup waiting for their master to come home.

He had known it was stupid, but he just couldn't be in the house…

Not without her.

Couldn't reconcile her being the one out there in danger while he was safe behind the walls.

He knew she could take care of herself, she was right about that.

Hell, he had more faith in her survival than he did anyone else.

She was born to fight, scrappy little thing she was.

Even Merle had come to appreciate her, before the end, and that fucker didn't appreciate a woman he wasn't fucking or planning to fuck.

 _God he missed her_

Those eyes that saw clear through to his soul,

That sassy grin and lippy mouth,

Those soft brushes of her fingers, her hands,

The others in their group were family but her?

She was…

Well fuck if he knew what she was, but she was something.

She was more than family, more than just his friend.

She was….

 _Wonder which one is coming to check on me tonight… please not Glenn._

He could hear the crunch of the gravel under foot.

Too delicate to be Rick, too quiet to be Glenn

 _Must be Michonne's turn. Least she won't talk it to death._

She didn't say a word, just a nod and a passing of a bowl of something.

 _Carol must have asked her to make sure I ate, always taking care of me._

A quick glance, another nod and she slipped away as quiet as she came.

He'd give it one more day, maybe two and if Carol wasn't back he'd…

Well fuck it, he'd go find her and damn the consequences.

He looked up seeing the stars, remembering all the times he had watched them with her.

 _When she gets back, I swear I'll…_

He found the star, the one she said was her favorite.

It reminded him of her, just a bit brighter than all the others around it,

Just a bit smaller

Perfect.

 _Stay safe._

… _._

Day five dawned, all tweeting birds and burning rays.

Hell on earth is a little place in Virginia.

Tempers were short and petty fights broke out here and there.

He was hard pressed to keep his mouth shut, but god damn it if Eugene opened his fucking mouth one more time he'd…

Taking a breath he stepped away, that anger that always seemed to live just below the surface was creeping ever closer to the top.

 _Where the fuck was she?_

He knew if she was here, he could control it better.

He checked in with everyone

 _Fucking bureaucracy_

Grabbed some shitty little thing for breakfast and headed to the wall.

 _Maybe today_

As the day wore on, that little bit of hope began to shrivel in his soul.

 _One more day and that's it._

He watched the sun drop on the horizon, the moon rise.

He saw movement by the back gate, something in the trees.

Saw that Jesus dude rush to the opening, Rick and Michonne hot on his heels.

He called out, but they either didn't hear him or chose to ignore him.

He jumped off the platform and hustled his ass over to them.

That little bit of hope that he thought was extinguished flared up, taunting him.

Was it…?

A small crowd formed around the entrance.

He wanted to scream at them to move, push them, fucking shoot someone in the ass to get them out of the way.

He felt his breath catch, his heart stop.

Just for a moment, a second.

As the crowd parted, he saw her.

Dirty, covered in blood and guts and other foul things.

There were bruises on her face, leaves in her hair

She looked much like she had after terminus

Except,

There wasn't that fear in her eyes,

There wasn't any doubt .

There was pride,

There was…

Fuck it, he ran to her.

Dropping his bow at Glenn's feet as he passed.

Her gun clattered to the ground next to her.

He slammed into her, lifted her off her feet.

Deja fucking vu all over again.

This time would be different, he swore.

As he pulled her close, his face buried in her neck

He breathed in her essence, held it deep in his lungs

Like a junkie getting his long denied fix.

He leaned back just enough, this time he'd do what he should have done months ago.

This wasn't how he had planned it, but the gentle press of her lips against his

Their first kiss,

Was everything he dreamed of.

 _Nine lives, remember._

 **BTW: don't own anything except for the crap I have bought.**


	14. It's Been

**Let me be your rock.**

 **This was done for a couple of lovely ladies on Tumblr that needed a boost and is part of the Caryl fic war.**

 **I do not own anything but the words on this page.**

 _It's been 4 months since the Prison,_

 _4 Months since he had found her gone,_

 _3 and a half months since he had found her again, but she wasn't whole._

 _3 and a half months since Atlanta and another piece of her had died._

 _2 months and 3 weeks since they had lost Ty and he lost a bit more of her._

 _2 months now, 2 months since they met Aaron and came to Alexandria._

 _2 months since she went into hiding, buried so deep he worried if he'd ever find her._

 _It's been 1 month and 5 days since she threw off her disguise, a hint of her true self returned._

 _Still the shadows haunted her eyes, kept her from him._

 _It's been 1 month since they had a peaceful moment, walkers and other people always stopping him from doing…_

 _What?_

 _It's been 2 weeks since he decided he'd had enough. Enough of her being "gone", of watching her suffer. Not knowing what to do or say._

 _It's been 3 hours since he asked her to meet him, somewhere quiet. The fear radiating off her, she knew it was time._

 _It's been 4 minutes since she sat next to him under the tree,_

 _Silence, a scream in the dark…._

 _Waiting._

"Carol" her name rolling off his tongue, his question and plea wrapped up in that one word.

She turned to him, "I'm trying, I'm still here."

He shifted closer, hand sliding against hers.

"You know I'm here too, don't you?" his fingers intertwining with hers, sharing his strength.

"I know, I just…" her eyes downcast, drowning in the tears that were just below the surface.

Sides pressed together now as her head falls to his shoulder.

Using his free hand he tips her chin up makes her meet his eyes. He's not letting her hide anymore.

"I know. You'll talk about it when you're ready, but I'm still here and so are you."

Her lips curve up in a tentative smile, small and shaky but real.

The night stills around them, a brief respite from the ongoing turmoil that has pressed down on them.

"When I'm ready. Can we just… Can we just enjoy the quiet?" her voice hopeful.

His lips brush hers in that first almost kiss, sweet and gentle.

He leaned back against the tree, pulling her into his arms as they watched the stars.

 _It has been 4 minutes since he kissed her for the first time, a promise held in that kiss._

 _It has been 1 day since they met under the tree and she already seems lighter._

 _It has been 2 weeks since that night and she comes to him and says "I'm ready."_

 _It has been 2 and a half months since the burden she had been carrying was shared, freeing them to move forward together._

 _It has been 3 months since the first time he held her while she slept, their bodies cooling as their hearts soared._

 _It has been 4 years since they had met that first time, each finding the other half of their soul at a quarry when the world ended._


	15. Chapter 15: Memories

A little something based on this head canon by thereadersmuse post/159691418938/if-carol-got-a-tattoo-what-would-it-be-who-would

 _You sure this is what you want?_

His voice soft but strong, his hands gentle as he rubbed his calloused hand over the delicate skin at her wrist.

Was she sure?

She waited for the flash of pain that always came when she thought of _her._

She remembered the smell of her hair, the way she felt in her arms.

The way she said _MOMMA_...

 _I'm sure._

 _Ya know it's been awhile since I did this…_

 _There's no one else I would trust with this._

He flashed that trademark half smirk of a smile as he pulled back his hair,

Clearing his line of sight.

He had been the one to hold her on the worse day of her life

Held her again when the last reminder of her baby girl, frayed and patched, was lost.

She could still feel the weight of the hair tie on her arm,

But it wasn't the heavy weight, tinged with sadness it once was.

Now it was smiles, and missing teeth

Talks about boys, and better lives

It was joy and love.

 _Ya ready?_

 _Yeah_

 _It's gonna hurt but I'll…_

 _It's ok._

It did hurt, physically anyway

That other pain, the one that had hung over her

Cloaked her for so long, wasn't there.

She watched him as he worked, tongue peeking out between his teeth as he leaned over her arm.

The slapped together tattoo device… what did he call it?

 _Prison special_

Buzzed as he slowly moved it carefully working the pattern into her skin.

Each jab of the needle bringing another cherished memory from the recess of her mind.

First steps, first words

First time on a bike.

Frist school play, a shy little elf hiding in the background, poking her head around the paper tree to say her lines.

His eyes shifted to hers, seeing the tears.

 _You ok?_

His worry touched her

She smiled as she wiped her eyes.

 _Yeah._

 _Almost done._

They had been at it for an hour, she had lost track of time.

Didn't notice when her wrist went numb and she no longer felt the needle as he worked.

Lost in memories of kissed boo-boos, macaroni necklaces , crayon drawings stuck on the fridge.

He finished the last little bit, stretching his arms and back while checking over his work.

 _What do ya think?_

 _It's perfect._

The band around her wrist, thin but with shading to give it depth, gave her a sense of peace.

This was one reminder of her little girl that she would never lose. Just like her memories.

I don't own anything but the words here.


	16. Chapter 16 when this is over

**When this is over**

 **Written for some friends on tumblr and loosely based on a tiny caryl spoiler for season 8.**

The acrid smoke filled air burned with each breath

Screams of the dying echoing.

 _I didn't want this for you…_

His presences at her back, a comforting weight.

Solid, warm, **alive**

 _I couldn't lose you…_

They were past needing words,

A look

A gestor

A flick of the eye

Telling the other everything they needed to know

 _You won't…_

 _You don't know that..._

Seamlessly they moved through the streets,

Always watching, listening, waiting

They could feel the threat, heavy and oppressive

Knew they would have to split up, each had their own mission

But not ready to let the other go… not yet…

A brush of his hand on her arm

An up tilt of her lips in a hap hazard smile

A promise

 _When this is over we need to talk…_

 _Yeah, when this is over…._

Blue on blue as they share one last look

She turns to go, turns back

His arms are waiting, always waiting for her

Pulls her close, pulls her closer still

They each take one last deep breath, pulling the others essence deep into their lungs

A quick brush of his lips against her,

Fleeting, cherished

 _Something to hold on too…_

They linger before they part, knowing what needed to be done.

 _When this is over…_

Share a smile, those they only share with each other

As they slowly turn and walk away.


End file.
